All these things will be added: a study on scriptural work

Most of my daily schedule involves daydreaming, drawing, playing games, reading, watching videos, and being available for others. I do not include an 8-to-five job in that list. Wow, what a slacker. Right?

Much of my adult life has been scrutinized ad nauseum by both peers and elders, believing that what I do (and don’t do) is lazy, irresponsible, and in polite terms, useless. Money is not important to me, or even particularly relevant, nor is recognition. At risk of sounding snarky, this is not a common outlook. 

There have been seasons of my life where I lived for months and years with less than a thousand dollars at any given point, and yet I was never hungry or in danger and my needs were met. I was paying rent, buying food, and attempting to live in a way pleasing to the Lord (employed and unemployed) throughout that whole time. Is it absolute dumb luck that I have (time and time again, I might add) survived this long? Perhaps, but I know it’s due to something far less coincidental. 

I tend not to get so scripturally in-depth with these posts, but this is a subject I care very deeply about. Here is my fairly lengthy explanation why I personally do what I do and think what I think in the context of the Word. 

But the last thing I want is for this to just apply to me. God has made promises and commands about this topic to every one of us. He has graciously given me freedom in this area and He offers the same promises and power to all through His Son and the Spirit.

If you love Jesus and are also weary of your day-to-day tasks or miserable at your current job, I believe this is for you. 

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Malachi 3:7-12

7 Ever since the days of your ancestors, you have scorned my decrees and failed to obey them. Now return to me, and I will return to you,” says the Lord of Heaven’s Armies.

“But you ask, ‘How can we return when we have never gone away?’

8 “Should people cheat God? Yet you have cheated me!

“But you ask, ‘What do you mean? When did we ever cheat you?’

“You have cheated me of the tithes and offerings due to me. 9 You are under a curse, for your whole nation has been cheating me. 10 Bring all the tithes into the storehouse so there will be enough food in my Temple. If you do,” says the Lord of Heaven’s Armies, “I will open the windows of heaven for you. I will pour out a blessing so great you won’t have enough room to take it in! Try it! Put me to the test! 11 Your crops will be abundant, for I will guard them from insects and disease. Your grapes will not fall from the vine before they are ripe,” says the Lord of Heaven’s Armies. 12 “Then all nations will call you blessed, for your land will be such a delight,” says the Lord of Heaven’s Armies.

[Note: “put me to the test” in this context is easily reconciled with the seeming contradiction in Deuteronomy 6:16. One test trusts God, the other test does not. God wants your trust, your heart.

This passage really is scary stuff. “I’ll give when I have more stable income.” “It’s irresponsible to abandon our security like that.” “I work to support our kids.” etc. But he says if we don’t give back what He has given us that we have cheated him. 

Really, it’s all coming from a place of fear. What all these really ask is “Will my needs be met if I give up so much?” ]

 

Matt 6:19-34

19 “Don’t store up treasures here on earth, where moths eat them and rust destroys them, and where thieves break in and steal. 20 Store your treasures in heaven, where moths and rust cannot destroy, and thieves do not break in and steal. 21 Wherever your treasure is, there the desires of your heart will also be.

22 “Your eye is like a lamp that provides light for your body. When your eye is healthy, your whole body is filled with light. 23 But when your eye is unhealthy, your whole body is filled with darkness. And if the light you think you have is actually darkness, how deep that darkness is!

[This part might seem incongruous, but it makes sense. Where is your focus? Are you focusing on earthly treasure? Are you focusing on God? Whatever you choose to focus on will spill over into the rest of your body, your life. (Luke 6:45) Consider the following verse]

24 “No one can serve two masters. For you will hate one and love the other; you will be devoted to one and despise the other. You cannot serve God and be enslaved to money.

[Key here being ‘enslaved’. Is money your focus? (v22) Are you trusting in money to meet your needs?]

25 That is why I tell you not to worry about everyday life—whether you have enough food and drink, or enough clothes to wear. Isn’t life more than food, and your body more than clothing? 26 Look at the birds. They don’t plant or harvest or store food in barns, for your heavenly Father feeds them. And aren’t you far more valuable to him than they are? 27 Can all your worries add a single moment to your life?

28 “And why worry about your clothing? Look at the lilies of the field and how they grow. They don’t work or make their clothing, 29 yet Solomon in all his glory was not dressed as beautifully as they are. 30 And if God cares so wonderfully for wildflowers that are here today and thrown into the fire tomorrow, he will certainly care for you. Why do you have so little faith?

31 “So don’t worry about these things, saying, ‘What will we eat? What will we drink? What will we wear?’ 32 These things dominate the thoughts of unbelievers, but your heavenly Father already knows all your needs. 33 Seek the Kingdom of God above all else, and live righteously, and he will give you everything you need.

34 “So don’t worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will bring its own worries. Today’s trouble is enough for today.

[And this is my main point. Do we trust this promise at face value? Do we trust it with no asterisks, exceptions, or fine print?

But for the moment, put this thought on hold. Let’s study what the Bible has to say about work and our calling in life.]

 

Prov 18:9

9 One who is slack in his work

    is brother to one who destroys.

[We should work. Work even existed in paradise before the fall. But what is work in God’s eyes?]

 

2 Thes 3:6-13

6 And now, dear brothers and sisters, we give you this command in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ: Stay away from all believers who live idle lives and don’t follow the tradition they received from us. 7 For you know that you ought to imitate us. We were not idle when we were with you. 8 We never accepted food from anyone without paying for it. We worked hard day and night so we would not be a burden to any of you. 9 We certainly had the right to ask you to feed us, but we wanted to give you an example to follow. 10 Even while we were with you, we gave you this command: “Those unwilling to work will not get to eat.”

11 Yet we hear that some of you are living idle lives, refusing to work and meddling in other people’s business. 12 We command such people and urge them in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ to settle down and work to earn their own living. 13 As for the rest of you, dear brothers and sisters, never get tired of doing good.

[Note that paul is silent on what specifics qualify as ‘work’. The goal is that you should love others by what you do, and becoming a burden to others (he mentions both financially and via meddling) is hardly lifting them up. He elaborates in 2 Cor: ]

 

2 Cor 8:11-15
11 … Give in proportion to what you have. 12 Whatever you give is acceptable if you give it eagerly. And give according to what you have, not what you don’t have. 13 Of course, I don’t mean your giving should make life easy for others and hard for yourselves. I only mean that there should be some equality. 14 Right now you have plenty and can help those who are in need. Later, they will have plenty and can share with you when you need it. In this way, things will be equal. 15 As the Scriptures say,

“Those who gathered a lot had nothing left over,
    and those who gathered only a little had enough.”

[Again, the goal with our work is to love others (which glorifies God, matt 10:42). We need to give from what we have, and this surely goes far beyond only money. If everything is a gift from God (1 Cor 4:7), how could there be any distinction? But what do we have?: ]

 

1 Cor 12:4-30

4 There are different kinds of spiritual gifts, but the same Spirit is the source of them all. 5 There are different kinds of service, but we serve the same Lord. 6 God works in different ways, but it is the same God who does the work in all of us.

7 A spiritual gift is given to each of us so we can help each other. 8 To one person the Spirit gives the ability to give wise advice; to another the same Spirit gives a message of special knowledge. 9 The same Spirit gives great faith to another, and to someone else the one Spirit gives the gift of healing. 10 He gives one person the power to perform miracles, and another the ability to prophesy. He gives someone else the ability to discern whether a message is from the Spirit of God or from another spirit. Still another person is given the ability to speak in unknown languages, while another is given the ability to interpret what is being said. 11 It is the one and only Spirit who distributes all these gifts. He alone decides which gift each person should have.

12 The human body has many parts, but the many parts make up one whole body. So it is with the body of Christ. 13 Some of us are Jews, some are Gentiles, some are slaves, and some are free. But we have all been baptized into one body by one Spirit, and we all share the same Spirit.

14 Yes, the body has many different parts, not just one part. 15 If the foot says, “I am not a part of the body because I am not a hand,” that does not make it any less a part of the body. 16 And if the ear says, “I am not part of the body because I am not an eye,” would that make it any less a part of the body? 17 If the whole body were an eye, how would you hear? Or if your whole body were an ear, how would you smell anything?

18 But our bodies have many parts, and God has put each part just where he wants it. 19 How strange a body would be if it had only one part! 20 Yes, there are many parts, but only one body. 21 The eye can never say to the hand, “I don’t need you.” The head can’t say to the feet, “I don’t need you.” 

[e.g. “Your role is not important. Do something else.” v18 he has put each part where he wants it!]

22 In fact, some parts of the body that seem weakest and least important are actually the most necessary. 23 And the parts we regard as less honorable are those we clothe with the greatest care. So we carefully protect those parts that should not be seen, 24 while the more honorable parts do not require this special care. So God has put the body together such that extra honor and care are given to those parts that have less dignity. 25 This makes for harmony among the members, so that all the members care for each other. [remember, 2 Cor 8:13] 26 If one part suffers, all the parts suffer with it, and if one part is honored, all the parts are glad.

27 All of you together are Christ’s body, and each of you is a part of it. 28 Here are some of the parts God has appointed for the church:

first are apostles,
second are prophets,
third are teachers,
then those who do miracles,
those who have the gift of healing,
those who can help others,
those who have the gift of leadership,
those who speak in unknown languages.

29 Are we all apostles? Are we all prophets? Are we all teachers? Do we all have the power to do miracles? 30 Do we all have the gift of healing? Do we all have the ability to speak in unknown languages? Do we all have the ability to interpret unknown languages? Of course not!

[He then goes on to say that our ultimate goal is to love. Love God, love others in all that you do. This is what our work is! Those things that he made you able to do well, and he made you to do them well in order to love Him and others! Notice that money is entirely absent in this discussion of our work.
In Romans he says similar things: ]

 

Romans 12:4-13

4 Just as our bodies have many parts and each part has a special function, 5 so it is with Christ’s body. We are many parts of one body, and we all belong to each other.

6 In his grace, God has given us different gifts for doing certain things well. So if God has given you the ability to prophesy, speak out with as much faith as God has given you. 7 If your gift is serving others, serve them well. If you are a teacher, teach well. 8 If your gift is to encourage others, be encouraging. If it is giving, give generously. If God has given you leadership ability, take the responsibility seriously. And if you have a gift for showing kindness to others, do it gladly. 

[etc, etc. Hardly an all-encompassing list. I note that he lists certain tasks (leadership and teaching) which many would consider suitable jobs, but others (encouragement, kindness), that many would not consider as valuable. But as said in 1 Cor 12:22 and Gal 1:10, value in human terms is not really relevant.

But what is the ultimate point of using these gifts?: ]

9 Don’t just pretend to love others. Really love them. Hate what is wrong. Hold tightly to what is good. 10 Love each other with genuine affection, and take delight in honoring each other. 11 Never be lazy, but work hard and serve the Lord enthusiastically. 12 Rejoice in our confident hope. Be patient in trouble, and keep on praying. 13 When God’s people are in need, be ready to help them. Always be eager to practice hospitality.

[Again, the point is to love God and others in all you do. He will show you what your “gift for doing certain things well” is. (ask Him!)  Use these gifts. Use them to build up others! Otherwise we risk acting like the servant in the parable: ]

 

Matt 25:14-29

14 “For it will be like a man going on a journey, who called his servants and entrusted to them his property. 15 To one he gave five talents, to another two, to another one, to each according to his ability. Then he went away. 16 He who had received the five talents went at once and traded with them, and he made five talents more. 17 So also he who had the two talents made two talents more. 18 But he who had received the one talent went and dug in the ground and hid his master’s money. 19 Now after a long time the master of those servants came and settled accounts with them. 20 And he who had received the five talents came forward, bringing five talents more, saying, ‘Master, you delivered to me five talents; here, I have made five talents more.’ 21 His master said to him, ‘Well done, good and faithful servant.] You have been faithful over a little; I will set you over much. Enter into the joy of your master.’ 22 And he also who had the two talents came forward, saying, ‘Master, you delivered to me two talents; here, I have made two talents more.’ 23 His master said to him, ‘Well done, good and faithful servant. You have been faithful over a little; I will set you over much. Enter into the joy of your master.’ 24 He also who had received the one talent came forward, saying, ‘Master, I knew you to be a hard man, reaping where you did not sow, and gathering where you scattered no seed, 

[Note that since the master represents God, who is none of these things, this shows that the servant was afraid to use his gifts because he never really knew the master well. He was afraid his needs would not be met if he screwed up. I think of Matt 6:24]  

25 so I was afraid, and I went and hid your talent in the ground. Here, you have what is yours.’ 26 But his master answered him, ‘You wicked and slothful servant! You knew that I reap where I have not sown and gather where I scattered no seed? 27 Then you ought to have invested my money with the bankers, and at my coming I should have received what was my own with interest. 28 So take the talent from him and give it to him who has the ten talents. 29 For to everyone who has will more be given, and he will have an abundance. But from the one who has not, even what he has will be taken away.

[Invest what you have been given. He commands this. Whether that is money, time, ability, resources, talent, relationships, the list goes on endlessly. (and not what you haven’t been given, 2 Cor 8:12!) He didn’t condemn anyone except the one who didn’t even try. And why did the man not try? Because he was afraid. Afraid of punishment, afraid of his needs (financial or otherwise) not going to be met if he failed, who knows. But if we believe what God promised in Matt 6:33, why should we ever be afraid?: ]

 

Phil 4:6-7

6 Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done. 7 Then you will experience God’s peace, which exceeds anything we can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus.

Prov 3:5-6

5 Trust in the Lord with all your heart;

    do not depend on your own understanding.

6 Seek his will in all you do,

    and he will show you which path to take.

Romans 8:1

1 … There is no condemnation for those who belong to Christ Jesus.

[You cannot fail in Christ. The worst that can happen is you fall, scrape your knee, and he helps you back up. Nothing lasting.

If you believe that making money is the best way that you can love God and love others, then do it. If you think something else is the best way to love God and love others, then do that. He has given us each gifts for doing certain things well. Find what you are good at and do it

In conclusion, a passage that has become a mantra for my own life. ]

 

John 21:21-22

21 Peter asked Jesus, “What about him, Lord?”

[Could I possibly be doing the right thing if others don’t do it? See also Gal 1:10]

22 Jesus replied, “If I want him to remain alive until I return, what is that to you? As for you, follow me.

 

As said in scuipture:
Do not be afraid. Trust him to take care of you.
Do not worry about what others may think.
Do what He made you to do.

 

 

 

Those Ancient Heights available in print!

i never like advertising but you never know, some of you may appreciate owning a print copy of the newest chapter. the longest one so far, yet again -o-

chapter 5 is coming soon. the timing will depend on how another real-life project pans out, but the plan is to finish the 5th chapter to conclude the first ‘arc’ of the story. after that the idea is to put all 5 books together in a trade volume and continue from there for the forseeable future.

take care all.

body shape studies 3

some people get a lot more extreme with shapes than I do. I’m not necessarily sure that’s a negative for me, but I do want to get more confident in going ‘all out’ than I feel like I currently am. motion in particular can be hard to be to exaggerate proportions.

harder still is making zany bodies fit compositionally in comic panels. I can tweak and pose my ‘comfort zone’ figures a lot easier than some out there designs. i’m sure practice is all that can help this. always trying.

more studies to come in the future, I’m sure.

Nations and shape language

been working on this for a while now. Since there are a variety of people groups and nations in the story, I am doing my best to work on making each nation have shapes (roughly) specific to them. not last airbender level or anything where “this country only wears red clothes”, but still. it’s a hard balance to keep in mind. at the very least, distinct clothing and silhouette elements that represent one nation I’ve been trying to keep separate from other nations.

Up to this point the comic has only covered a single nation, Allano. In hindsight, I probably should have limited the variety of their clothing, but you live and learn. That said, I am consolidating the core ‘essence’ of what the allanos wear and trying to differentiate it with the other groups. i’ve dabbled with the designs of other nations here and there but the past little bit I’ve really been trying to make a concerted effort to make things decently distinct.

In real life of course there is a lot of trends that carry on over the border, but sometimes it is necessary to limit that just so the audience can tell where the heck this character is supposed to be from. at the end of the day it is a loose guide and I won’t lose too much sleep if it isn’t an airtight system.

my main strategy is using designs I like the best on places where I will spend the most time and filling out the rest from there. everything is heavily subject to change as always. I choose to hold off on giving away too many details to avoid spoiling anything interesting later 😉

uncommon medical phenomena

was looking up conjoined twins the other day. i don’t know why.

as an american with the name callum, I have received a lifetime of blank stares in response. is that anywhere equivalent to being born a conjoined twin or dwarf, having to live your life with people awkwardly trying to be polite? probably not. I find the personal dynamics those conditions create as more interesting than the conditions themselves, though the conditions are too. anyone with something ‘odd’ about them eventually just adapts. of course what makes one different may be more obvious than another. if you’re not weird, you’re a weirdo, i guess.

i moreso wish i could present people with autism or asbergers or downs or what have you but I feel unequipped. no one in my life that I knew well had any of these traits. for the moment, I will try to stick to sorts I feel I can portray better.

the flag mafia has a gun to my head send help

i may have a problem.

or maybe it’s only a problem if I address it??

but the might I wielded before was nothing compared to this new dark power I have discovered. behold!

it’s really interesting how many flags are designed to be off-center towards the pole (the “hoist”). it looks odd when viewed as a static image, but when you see them in motion you realize that they actually look centered since the tail of the flag moves more than the rest. try plugging in the bangladesh or french naval flags into the flag waver link above to see what I mean. there are a lot of design considerations like this to factor in that may not be obvious.

I think that’s a big reason why I appreciate flags so much. They are such a good case study of “practical art”, art that exists to communicate a message as quickly, efficiently, and stylistically as possible. a clear advantage of graphic design/art over other communication mediums is how concise it can be. and I also appreciate them for their historical and societal connotations. they are symbols, and symbols are powerful. they are neat, and I appreciate the minutia of the design of good flags. there are a lot of factors that make a good flag good which post people don’t even realize.

mens suits are a proven cure for insomnia

i understand that this blog is becoming a fashion one more with each passing day but what are you gonna do I suppose.

mens suits suck.

they are the same thing over and over again with nearly no variety. in my opinion the design isn’t even that appealing. I understand that something neutral and minimal can be classy in the right circumstance. still, there has got to be some more variety before I lose my mind. at least women in the west can get away with more pizzazz.

man even just tiny little stripes or blocks of color can add a ton. and while I know that is what neckties are for, i have a very deep, personal, and petty vendetta against ties. ties were locked up in the dungeon where they belong for this exercise.

and while I hardly think that “new is always better” in anything, I swear that suits haven’t changed much at all since the colonial period. look at like rembrandt paintings or whoever. what we have today is basically the same thing. featureless black mass of cloth with a few points of contrast around the neck and sleeves.

I’m sure this is heresy to many, but if we had to settle on a design for hundreds of years, couldn’t we have settled on something good?

whatever. I’m not advocating that every business executive needs to start parading around in a tie-dye hippie wonderland, but surely we could play around a little bit with mens’ suits. I understand having a muted main color and simple shapes. start small to aid the easily-startled. but let’s at least get some slight variety in here so I can feel a little less like a bystander from Mr. Roboto.

i’m hardly saying that all of these designs are winners. they are concept doodles like anything else. need to experiment to throw away the bad elements and keep the good. but goodness I feel like even these few designs have more interest than 99% of the suits I’ve seen in my life. and this is just scratching the surface, you could go way more creative than this. I was playing it safe to make something I think a businessman could in theory wear today in an the ocean of peer pressure.

i can only hope that one day western suits can look as good as this.

Faith versus reason

“You have faith, but I have reason.” I’ve heard many variations on this line. I would like to clarify that reason used in this context is usually shorthand for what the given party considers evidence.

It can potentially be a thinly-veiled dig on the other – that they are not intelligent enough to contemplate the evidence (or the implications of it) – implying faith is a scapegoat for those who deny the truth. The question is this: is faith simply a fool’s alternative to reason?

The word faith is a misunderstood one. Faith is a synonym with trust. I consider them functionally identical. I prefer to use the word trust, as it seems to have a more concrete definition to most people than the word faith. saying you don’t have ‘trust’ makes very little sense. by that definition, all people have faith. You can’t not have faith. How can you not trust anything? Impossible.

How do I know that humans have been to the moon? I’ve never been to the moon. I gotta take someone’s word for it. People tell me it happened. I’m trusting people.

Say I am still a skeptic. I want to dig deeper. Those people were told by others, told by others, so on. But is NASA telling the truth? I don’t have the resources to cross-check all their evidence, assuming they are even presenting it truthfully to begin with. I can dig into the evidence all I want, but ultimately it is evidence that is filtered through others – there is no proof so concrete that it is impossible to disbelieve. I personally believe we went to the moon, but look at how many do not. It is not a matter of proof or evidence, it is a matter of trust.

It can be tempting to appeal to majority (‘everyone else believes it!’), but please look at history to see why that is a shaky reason. Hitler was very popular for a time, remember. Peer pressure is a poor substitute for truth.

Evidence means much less than people like to admit, because much is out of reach more than we like to admit. At the end of the day, most of us are not really trusting the evidence, we are trusting presentations of it. Fields of science or academia are so intricately specialized that it is not even possible for an individual to truly grasp all topics. If I specialize in pharmacology, I will not have the time nor intelligence in my short life to also specialize in biotechnology. I have to ask my biotechnology questions to a biotechnician. I will have to take someone’s word for it.

Say that somehow I am at the absolute forefront of my field, reducing filters of evidence by others to an absolute minimum. Surely I can trust the evidence then, right?

But take it a step further still. How do I even know I can rely on my senses? On my memory? How can I be sure that I’m not some drooling lunatic in an insane asylum? how can I be sure that I’m not living in the matrix, or exist solely in the raving delusions of a man in a coma? Ultimately, I don’t really think it’s possible to prove any of those. Even such a base thing is a huge act of trust – of faith – when you really analyze it. Without trust it would be impossible to function in life at all.

To return to the beginning, is faith simply poor-man’s reason?

Does faith mean what I put my faith in is true? Of course not. But everything someone believes is something they put faith in, even that the sun will rise tomorrow. There might be good reasons to trust that it will rise, but ultimately any ‘proofs’ I present are just words until it rises. However my reason was not mutually exclusive with my trust. All humans who have ever lived needed both faith and reason. Without either life is impossible.

But to answer the implied question, why do I put my faith in Jesus instead of something else?

Well, in my life I see myself as having two choices. Do I trust in people, who make mistakes and have let me down? Or do I trust in Jesus who – so far – never has?

MODERN WARFARE

well. kind of.

the idea is that the shield is connected to the arm and the weapon can fit into a slot in the shield to keep it steady and/or allow the user to use both hands for aiming while still keeping the shield up.

how practical is this? probably not very. still looks neat 🙂

even though i really enjoy firearms they probably won’t show up in the comic, at least in forms this close to real-life examples. i have some other ideas instead.

ancient relics: part 2

This is a continuation of the previous post.

People always ask why the characters are not human. in the beginnings of the project they were still always the kangaroo lizard aliens, but originally it was just because i was an edgy teen who wanted some sci-fi spice. that was really about it. but now i am a boring adult who wants some sci-fi spice but also realized how useful a non-human is as a tool to make the reader re-evaluate their expectations.

i was looking back through some of the old drawings and realized i sometimes forget how different it is now. the first official page was only completed in 2017 after i graduated college. it was a good seven years from its inception until I began to work on it in earnest. a lot changes in that time.

tastes change over the years of course, but people really don’t. i have pretty much the same underlying motivations as an adult as I did as a child. I’ve come to realize that understanding is one of the most important things to me, though that understanding can manifest in different ways. I want to understand the motivations of people and I love playing with ideas strange and mundane. the comic has always been about that and almost everything I make has that motivation somewhere at the core.

of course, ten years helped me understand people a lot better. it helped me understand myself better as well.

i’ll never claim to be particularly fast at working on things. nor am i a particularly fast learner, art included. i’m a pretty slow boy. long story short: this page process took way too long. it wasn’t sustainable while getting pages out at a rate that didn’t wear thin on the patience of others or myself. i learned from this that I needed to do it in monochrome and simplify the workflow. which is fine. i never cared much for color anyway.

even the first published chapter of the comic took a lot longer than the subsequent ones. people occasionally note that it looks a bit different in style compared to the others and they are correct. some of that is that I switched tablets and software that made certain line types either more or less difficult. but honestly most of it is, again, I found that i needed to simplify the workflow more. chapter one was created between 2016-2019 during a pretty dark period of my life. i worked around eight jobs over the course of a year and realized later that I was also putting undue pressure on myself with the comic. I was driving myself nuts in addition to difficult circumstances. i had to ease off a bit.

I definitely enjoyed working on the comic more after i eased off. chapter 2 and especially chapter 3 were much more fun to create in the day-to-day. ‘professionals’ in the comic field crank out many more pages a week than I do. four is about the max I can do, usually fewer than that, sometimes none at all. but this is just how I’m wired. all we can do is the best with our gifts and our circumstances. I’m definitely a lot happier in life when I give from what I have and not from what I don’t. and trust me, i’ve tried to change who I am. I wanted to be more of a hustler. but you can’t really change how you’re wired. I’m more at peace with that now. does being slow or unproductive make one a bum? maybe, but you would only know by comparing yourself with others. comparison never ends well. it will either fill you with arrogance because you see yourself as superior, or it will lead to self-hatred because you think you are worse. neither is good. we all have our strengths and struggles for a reason.

so where do we go from here? one day at a time, as always. I’ve found there’s no use worrying about the future. God will provide and he will continue to meet my needs. I have invaluable worth apart from my work. I personally need to ease up on the self-pressure. if I’m a slow man, forcing myself to be otherwise isn’t sustainable.

perhaps in another ten years i’ll revisit this topic and see what’s changed by then. 🙂 hopefully this journey can bring encouragement to others who struggle with similar hurdles.